


what's said when he's gone.

by chosuiri



Category: IDOLiSH7 (Video Game)
Genre: M/M, nagiyama main focus, spoilers for part 3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-06
Updated: 2019-02-06
Packaged: 2019-10-23 02:04:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17674334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chosuiri/pseuds/chosuiri
Summary: “So, which do you think is worse, Nikaidou?” Gaku begins with a glint in his eyes, sloshing around the alcohol in his glass. Yamato raises an eyebrow at his question, intrigued by the sudden shift from nonsensicality. The other continues, “not being able to tell someone important something because they’re gone, or because you can’t spit it out?”A simple question.“Wanting to say something to someone when they’re gone is definitely worse.”





	what's said when he's gone.

**Author's Note:**

> hi, i had this finished for months now? this is intended to have a companion piece (which would be gaku's side of the story) but my friend's the one who's writing that... we will see
> 
> anyways happy yamanagi day. well bold of us to assume yamato is a top so it's rlly nagiyama but it's 2/6 what do...
> 
>  
> 
> edit: OH.... yeah there's part 3 spoilers sorry but it's just ymt's dad stuff

“I thought you were going to stand me up,” Gaku remarks with a slight smirk as Yamato steps into the usual place. He reluctantly drags himself over to where Gaku is sitting by the bar, and unceremoniously climbs up the bar stool and then lies himself flat on the counter. “Nikaidou.”

Yamato clears his throat, adjusting his glasses, and propping his chin on his arm as he glances over at TRIGGER’s leader. “Yaotome.”

Gaku snorts. “You look like a mess.”

“Thanks, so do you.” Yamato returns with a smirk.

Gaku’s not as stunningly handsome as he usually boasts to be today, as his own exhaustion still manages to show evidently on his face. Seems like he didn’t care to cover up with makeup. He must be seriously bothered-- strange, he doesn’t think that much things can phase Yaotome.

Well, he’s always finicky when it comes to his relationship troubles.

And of course, Yamato always considers himself to be one of the ugliest bachelors (inside _and_ out) available in Japan. He would be more shocked if Gaku complimented him on his appearance, which to be fair, isn’t very attractive. Yamato has hefty bags of his own under his eyes which not even his glasses can fully hide for him.

The two share an equally dispirited laugh, and the bartender swings around to take Yamato’s order, thankfully. He instead opts for going for the tougher stuff-- beer won’t do the trick this time. He requests for rye rather than his usual, which elicits some sort of shock from Gaku.

Once he has his drink, he clinks glasses with Gaku in a sort of pity cheer, and they both take a hefty sip out of their respective drinks. He then decides to sit up a bit straighter, only to decide he’s too tired to sit up properly. Gaku shakes his head at this, but mimics Yamato’s terribly lazy position. Yamato shoots him a bewildered look at the other’s sudden now sloppy position.

“Might be a good idea,” Gaku remarks with a small smile, “it’s kind of comfortable.”

They then dive into meaningless chatter about how their jobs are going, each sprinkling in their own backhanded insults at each other, before moving onto their next round of drinks.

It seems like both of them are far from being sober enough to even stop themselves from delving in deep to why they both, quite frankly, looked like shit today. Gaku clears his throat, interrupting their prior, yet useless, conversation about dogs.

“So, which do you think is worse, Nikaidou?” Gaku begins with a glint in his eyes, sloshing around the alcohol in his glass. Yamato raises an eyebrow at his question, intrigued by the sudden shift from nonsensicality. The other continues, “not being able to tell someone important something because they’re gone, or because you can’t spit it out?”

“Wanting to say something to someone when they’re gone is definitely worse.” Yamato mutters with a sigh, and reaches for his glass again to take another large gulp of the beverage.

The whiskey burns in his throat, irritatingly enough, and he bites back a curse as he slams his mug back onto the counter. He looks over to Gaku, who stares at him with a raised eyebrow and empathy.

Gaku laughs, “is it? Did something like that happen for you, Nikaidou? Did someone die?”

“It’s… a long story.” Yamato groans, putting his head face-down on the counter after pushing his beer to the side. “More like I think my relationship with someone died.”

“Well, we got all night,” Gaku replies with a shrug, “might as well get it off your chest.”

Yamato snorts in agreement, “guess that’s true. You know that Nagi left for a bit, right?”

“Oh, so it’s about Rokuya?” His eyes twinkle with interest, and he is soon sitting up, rapt with the new information.

 _Right_ , Yamato faintly recalls, _I obviously didn’t tell anyone about my feelings for him._ With a sigh, he decides to extend his friend the same courtesy he gave him, and forces himself off the counter, straightening his back and looking a bit more presentable than before. Nonetheless, it’s still going to be a long story, so he reclines an arm on the counter still, the other he places lightly on his leg. “So it’s something like this…”

* * *

“I will miss you all dearly,” Nagi whispers as soon as the other six released him from their group hug. He still looks somber, dignified even, but nonetheless he continues to keep that beautiful, bright smile on his face as if he’s just going for a short outing. Even when he turns to stare at the car loaded with his belongings, that same dumb smile is on his face.

Yamato bites back his bitterness, and then he, dumbly as well, nods.

Mitsuki beams brightly as he flashes a peace sign at Nagi, “geez, Nagi! Don’t be a stranger! You’ll always be one of us!” He laughs, to which Nagi nods to in response.

Riku’s eyes widen, and he excitedly pipes in, “yeah! So when you’re not too busy, we should do a video call! That’s what technology is for!”

“We can’t bother Rokuya-san when he’s occupied.” Iori tuts, but he’s quickly cut off by Tamaki swinging an arm around his shoulder with a pout.

“Nagicchi will make time for us, Iorin. And we’ll make time for him, cuz he’s our friend.”

Sougo sighs at the younger member’s words, “Tamaki-kun, that is true, but it’d be rude of us to demand that of Nagi-kun.”

“Oh no, you are my best friends!” Nagi exclaims, his smile growing wider, and Yamato swears that he notices the beginnings of tears forming at the blond’s eyes. “This is not the end, I promise to return when I can.”

Nagi is still withholding details of what exactly his relationship with Northmare is beyond being a mere citizen, but he seems to play an important role in the political climate judging by the urgency of Nagi’s trip. Considering all of the other things he’s capable of, like even being professional enough to hold a proper press conference, able to speak a multitude of languages, and all those sort of skills not easily mastered by any ordinary person-- Nagi is exceptional. Even when Yamato did finally divulge about what he’s kept pent up personally about his dad, Nagi continues to fluidly avoid disclosing much about his past.

“You heard him. He’ll return after things settle down in Northmare.” Yamato solidifies for the rest of the group, adjusting his glasses with single flick of his finger, and averting his gaze as far from Nagi as possible. Internally, he’s a bit distraught and relieved at the same time-- he’ll miss him, sure, but it’ll make things a bit easier for him. He’s comfortable around Nagi, but at the same time so uncomfortable-- he can see through right him unlike how Mitsuki can. He can’t hide when he’s with Nagi.

Unexpectedly, Nagi then tackles Yamato into a brief hug. Suddenly smothered by the other’s cologne, his protests are only muffled by Nagi’s clothes. He holds Yamato tightly, letting out a boisterous laugh. “Yamato, you’re going to miss me the most, aren’t you?”

He flushes, and tries to wriggle out of his grasp, but is instantly trapped even more when Mitsuki wraps his arms around the both of them with a matching grin. “Pythagoras Fighters hug, huh!? Don’t leave me out of it!” Their shortest cries with a jovial laugh.

The others not involved in their embrace laugh as well, increasing Yamato’s levels of embarrassment. He does return their hugs in all earnesty, since it seems like these kids won’t give up until he does. Finally, they release him from their grasps. “Yeah, I’ll miss you, Nagi. Now get going before you miss your flight.”

Nagi smiles at Yamato’s words, waving at the rest of the group wildly as he slowly enters the car meant to take him to the airport. Soon, the car starts up with Nagi in the passenger’s seat and Banri driving, then all the IDOLiSH7 members wave back at Nagi until the car disappears from their sights.

* * *

Yamato glances through his script for the drama he’s started filming, squinting at the hastily notes he scrawled on during the briefing of the new show. To his distaste, it’s a period drama reminiscent of Chiba Shizuo’s signature roles in movies, but thankfully Yamato isn’t playing the lead. He is, however, still playing an important supporting role to the protagonist as his best friend. He certainly hasn’t expected to get that kind of role, but his eyes might be doing something playing up to the stoicness of the guy he’s to play.

Suddenly, his phone goes off, and Yamato slowly grabs his phone off the rug to check who’s calling. His eyes widen when the caller ID says Nagi’s name, and what’s even more shocking that it’s a video call. It’s only been several days since Nagi first left for Northmare, and he already has time to spare for him? Quickly, he fiddles with his mess of hair, and then promptly answers Nagi’s call. “Nagi?” He answers, wincing at how quiet his voice is.

Nagi shows up on the screen in all of his glory, his blond hair neatly parted as usual, but his clothes are more official when he’s wearing a full-on suit. Yamato grins fondly, thinking that he really must be part of the political sphere over there. _Man_ , Yamato thinks, _is there anything he can’t pull off?_

“I knew you’d be up this late,” Nagi laughs, “What time is it over there?”

Yamato squints, exiting out of the app to check the time on his phone, “Around midnight, so I’m not up that late.”

Nagi hums, “it’s the late afternoon here.” He fiddles with his tie, then managing to loosen it. He reclines back in his seat, and starts to unbutton his blazer, and eventually shrugs it off.

Unconsciously, Yamato licks his lips. He doesn’t know _why_ Nagi decided to put on that display of taking off his clothes so dramatically, but he chalks it up to Nagi being Nagi. It’s not like he did that specially for him-- he’s getting too caught up in his own thoughts about this, and maybe he really has been deprived in all sorts of ways. He sits still, but reaches for his can of beer and takes a long sip out of it. “You done for the day?”

“Yes. Now I must catch up on the latest episode of MagiCona.” Nagi replies with full seriousness, and then seems to attend to his computer. However, he doesn’t hang up as Yamato would expect. “How is everyone, Yamato?”

Yamato shrugs, putting his beverage back on the floor, “same as always. We all have lots of work. Mitsu’s been hosting a lot more shows lately. Sou and Tama have their radio gig going on, Ichi and Riku have been getting more interviews.”

“And you?”

He switches the camera to his back lens, and then aims his phone to show the script on his lap. “This.”

Immediately, Nagi’s eyes gleam and his face grows bigger on the screen as he seems to get closer in order to discern the writing on the paper. His usual written out wry grin materializes on his face, and he pulls the phone further away again. “Yamato, could that be… a period drama? So cool! It reminds me of Chiba Shizuo’s movie--” He pauses, and shakes his head. He then offers another congratulatory smile, “are you the lead?”

Yamato doesn’t flinch at the mention of his father’s name as he would before-- he’s grown a bit after the confessions night, but he still hasn’t taken the initiative to confront him. Still not yet, but this drama might actually lead him to doing that, hence his initial reluctance to take the job. But another push of his friends (thanks Mitsu and Yaotome for being _the pushiest people he knew_ ) forced him into accepting the role with pride. It is an honor to be cast as such an important supporting role, and it hasn’t been because of his connection to Chiba Shizuo. It’s something he’s obtained with his own skills-- there’s something to be proud about.

He shoots Nagi a grin, but shakes his head. “Nah, but I got a pretty prominent part.” His ways still don’t change, so he skirts around the topic of his dad. And for once, Nagi does the same. How surprisingly considerate for someone who wants to learn all his secrets and expose him while refraining from doing the same.

Rokuya Nagi is a hypocrite, but if he isn’t a beautiful one...

“Oh, yes! Congratulations!” His beautiful smile then fades, and is replaced with a dour look, “when does it air? I don’t suppose…”

“It premiers in a month,” Yamato nods as he begins to idly flip through the script, mentally estimating how long the script for just one episode was. They actually gave the actors all a good amount of time to get accompanied with the script, but of course changes are to come in the future. “You think you’ll be back by then?”

“I can’t promise you,” Nagi frowns, “but I will try, Yamato.”

His earnest wish in wanting to be back to watch Yamato’s drama tugs at his heart for a bit, and he curses the gnawing feeling it generates. He tells himself again that he’s definitely overthinking it all, and there’s no way that Nagi cares that much about him. Heck, doesn’t this guy have anime to watch?

Yamato clears his throat, checking the time, eyes widening at how much time passed from what seemed to be a fairly short conversation. Of course, most of it has been Yamato dumbly gawking at Nagi for which he hopes Nagi has attributed to it being midnight rather than the true reason. “Don’t you have an episode to watch?”

Nagi’s eyes widen at Yamato’s mention of his anime, but he simply smiles. “Oh, Yamato… It does not air on the television, so I am watching it online. It can wait.”

His heart thumps loudly in his chest as soon as Nagi reasons that he’s willing to put off watching his beloved show. Is the world going to end? Or does he really enjoy talking to Yamato-- _god_ , now that’s a concept he absolutely can’t fathom. He certainly must be calling the other members too, it can’t be just him. He knows they're all too busy to have a group call, but… even at this time, they could manage it. Those kids stay up way too late in the night anyway.

“I see,” Yamato murmurs, as a hand thoughtlessly runs over to his chest, clenching at his shirt in futile attempts to make it stop. He doesn’t want this, he doesn’t want this _now_ when Nagi isn’t here, and when he has no idea about the other’s intentions. He doesn’t even know what reaction he’d get, so he’s just going to let this stupid feeling fester in his chest. And he’ll never let _anyone_ know. “That’s much easier for you.”

“It is,” Nagi chirps back excitedly, but then he glances elsewhere-- away from him. He then raises his hand, and waves, “you should sleep, Yamato. Don’t stay up too late, okay? I’ll talk to you again later.”

 _I want to keep talking to you now though_ , he wants to say, but the words become lodged in his throat, and he reflexively reaches for his can of beer to wash those desires away. Drown them so he doesn’t make things worse. _Stop being so selfish, Yamato, you’re no different from the spoiled brat you were as a child._ “Yeah. Night, Nagi.”

“Have sweet dreams!” Nagi beams back, then he soon ends the call, leaving Yamato back at his call history.

With a groan, Yamato tosses his phone lazily back on the floor next to his roomba. He sighs, eyes landing onto the highlighted words in his script.

> **[SOUJIROU]:** We only serve Lord Hideyoshi first and foremost. Love? That’s useless for us, you hear?

_Love_ , Yamato repeats mentally. His role, Soujirou, certainly isn’t a very cheerful best friend. He has a stick up his ass, that’s for sure.

* * *

“Soba again?” Yamato blinks when he comes into the kitchen to see two boxes of takeout sitting on the counter. “You’re getting lazy, Mitsu.”

MItsuki snorts, “no complaining! What’s the point in cooking a meal just for the two of us?”

“Fair point,” Yamato chuckles, grabbing chopsticks from the drawer and taking one container off the stack. Well, he has another lingering suspicion why Mitsuki has taken to ordering from this soba shop all the time. He walks toward the dining room, plopping himself at the table with Mitsuki following him with his own container. They usually just ordered whatever the delivery man recommended, so the two of them didn’t require any distinctions on what box they got.

The rest of IDOLiSH7 were occupied with their own jobs again, leaving him and Mitsuki as the only ones in the dorm. He thinks to even grab a drink to go with their dinner, but Mitsuki shoots a glare at him as soon as he gets up. “What?”

“No alcohol yet,” Mitsuki sighs, “we can drink later.” He proceeds to open his container, and starts to consume his dinner. This spurs Yamato to sit back down and do the same, and he has to get started on slurping soba of his own.

“What, is there something you want to talk about?” Yamato asks with a raised eyebrow, searching in his head for anything of importance that may be coming up. Besides Nagi not being here, there shouldn’t be anything Mitsu is stressed about. “Nagi?”

MItsuki nods, “yeah! Nagi hasn’t contacted us besides telling us he landed in Northmare! Geez, is he that busy? I don’t want to bother him by calling him, but--”

“What?” Yamato blinks, lowering his gaze toward his food and avoiding Mitsuki’s heated gaze. “He’s been calling me. We’ve been talking like almost every day.” He admits quietly. “But I guess it’s just because I’m the leader?”

Mitsuki squints, and then shakes his head, “Nagi’s not the type to stick to shit like that. That’s more of Sougo’s style!” His smile now a frown, he checks his phone and for a moment, Yamato notes that his frown disappears. Must be someone important.

Yamato doesn’t ask, instead focusing on this problem of Nagi apparently not contacting anyone but him. “I mean,” Yamato starts, “I could ask about that. The next time he calls.”

“Also just come and get me, we can all just talk to him.” Mitsuki adds, putting his phone down after seemingly texting someone else. “How’s he holding up, though?”

He shrugs, grabbing a bunch of soba noodles from the box with chopsticks and shoving it in his mouth. “He doesn’t say much about what he’s doing over there. He always just asks about us first, and then he hangs up before I have the chance to ask. Or he just talks about his anime.”

Mitsuki scrunches his nose at Yamato’s observations, and frowns. “That’s just like him,” Mitsuki laments with a sigh, “wish he’d open up more to us sometime.”

Yamato is inclined to agree, but considering he’s exactly the same, he can’t really say anything. Mitsu tries to hide things, too, but he’s at least made his backstory pretty clear. But he’s the type who has nothing to hide-- he’s someone who takes pride in making amends with his past and pushing on for his future. “Yeah,” he finally returns, although he feels like he’s so distant.

“Geez…” Mitsuki shakes his head, “well, just let me know if he calls. Anyway, I went to the mall the other day with Yaotome!”

“Oh, how was it?” And Yamato idly nods along as Mitsuki dives into another topic of his proclaimed not-date with Gaku, thankfully not focused on him and Nagi at all.

* * *

Nagi finally calls again the next night. To Yamato’s disappointment, Mitsuki isn’t at the dorms tonight (maybe he’s got yet another hot date), and the other kids are supposed to be sleeping. And he’s made the executive decision to leave Sou alone, seems like he’s preoccupied with something in the bathroom there. Anyways.

He’s basically forced to face this alone-- and uh, notably in an almost drunken state too. Great, sobriety is for losers anyway, so this will be a doozy. He drinks the rest of the beer in this can, then flings it lazily to the side once emptied. He then answers Nagi’s call, mouth gaping when he sees Nagi in a more casual ensemble today. Seems like he’s been free of stuffy events during the day, huh.

“Hey, Yamato!” Nagi greets with that ever-present smile on his face, “I would’ve called earlier since today is a day of rest, but…”

Yamato chuckles, “lemme guess. MagiCona first, right?”

“Yes! Bingo!” Nagi nods excitedly, “and I had an outing with a friend before as well.”

Yamato waggles an eyebrow at the sound of another friend, but decides it’s not his business and lets that fact slide by neatly. Either way, it’s all sidetracking him from what he’s supposed to do. What he promised Mitsu. “That’s nice, Nagi. Can I ask you something?”

Nagi nods silently, looking at him through the camera with his usual puppy-dog eyes. _Stop that_. “Of course, Yamato.”

Can he say that he loves the way Nagi says his name? He curses his heartbeat quickening each time he calls his name, and really wonders which button is it to turn off all his emotions. That would be great, thanks. Yamato inhales a breath, and then cuts straight to the point. “The others haven’t heard from you. Any reason you’re calling only me?”

“I wonder as well,” Nagi answers quickly with a small smile on his face. Yamato bites his lip, pissed at how he can’t even discern if that smile of his is fake or not. Although, it’s uncertain for sure. “Well, you’re the only one up this late, right?”

Yamato rolls his eyes, “right. At least talk to Mitsu, you know. Unless you’re trying to say you only want to talk to Onii-san?”

The blond glances down at his lap, avoiding Yamato’s gaze. He seems to sit there in silence, presumably choosing the right words in his head. Yamato then closes his eyes, finding no point to look when he’s not looking at Nagi’s face, anyway. He keeps them shut, cursing himself again when he notices that his heartbeat accelerates in anticipation of Nagi’s answer.

“I…” Nagi begins, the surprising softness of his voice causing Yamato to snap out from his reverie and looks at his phone. “I like talking to you, Yamato.”

Yamato’s breath hitches, his muscles stiffening as Nagi flashes a smile at him. “You’re,” Yamato starts as he forces back a gulp, “you’re really turning on the charm there, Nagi.” He laughs, although incredibly awkwardly, as blood runs to his cheeks. “You can’t really think that.”

“Oh, but I am telling the truth, my dear friend.” He returns, “I wish I could spend more time with you.”

 _Friend_. Of course. It’s selfish of him to want more than that. But both him and Nagi are selfish people, it seems-- Mitsu is the most selfless out of their trio. Yamato returns with a dry laugh, and thinks that maybe the alcohol really is making him sentimental. He thinks that maybe he should cut down on his alcohol intake if he’s going to be talking to Nagi this often, but then he laughs at the thought. Him drinking less beer? Impossible.

“Me too,” the words desperately tumble from his mouth, “I… miss you.”

Nagi’s eyes widen, but he dips his head, “so I was right about that. Yamato, you know I am to return. I will not be gone forever.”

“You know that saying--” Yamato pauses, wondering if he’s really going to go through with this. His drunken bravado is saying he should, so it seems like a good idea. Just keep doing it, it’s not like Nagi’s here to give him the cold shoulder. It won’t hurt when he inevitably rejects him. It’s not like he’s here anyways. It won’t hurt.

 _It won’t hurt_.

“-- that absence makes the heart fonder?” He finishes with his entirely red face and a somewhat timid smile. “Since we’re talking so often now, all that I could think about… was you.”

Meeting his expectations yet disappointing him at the same time, Nagi sits on the other side quietly-- as if letting Yamato continue. Or there’s nothing to say, or he’s just feeling disgusted by him. He’s not really sure about which team Nagi plays for or whatnot, but he’d be lucky if it turns out that he’s not as straight as he thought. Even luckier if Nagi chose him.

“Nagi.” Yamato winces internally at how pathetic he sounds-- so weak of a man in what he assumes to be a hopeless love. Without skipping a beat, he blurts it out, “I’m in love with you.”

Before he can give himself a chance to look away, to back away from his phone or even take it back by passing it off as a joke, Nagi opens his mouth.

“I see.”

Yamato’s shoulders start to slump at this, and pathetically, he clings onto the small hope that he’ll say something else and _maybe_ will give him an answer.

Instead, the call cuts out without Nagi even saying his goodbyes or anything, really. So now he doesn’t know what Nagi feels about his rather shitty confession.

Well, he’s finished. Can’t even look at Nagi the same way unless he tells him it was just a joke-- ah, who was he kidding? It’s impossible to fix this. He just had to let his dumb feelings control him, and Yamato wanted more than anything to be able to shut off his emotions forever. Can’t he do that? It’ll be easier.

With a groan, Yamato lets his phone fall on the floor, and buries his face in his hands.

Welp, better time than any to test out if Musashi is capable of delivering him more beer. See, he’s worked out a good system for Musashi to get him beer so he doesn’t have to go himself. He’ll have Musashi go to Mitsu and have him pester him until--

Right, Mitsu isn’t back yet.

Not willing to rouse himself up from his _anguished broken-hearted man_ pose, he just stays there, praying that he’ll lose consciousness.

* * *

“Nikaidou, you’re a dumbass.” Gaku sighs with a swig of his drink. “Confessing over _video chat_?”

Yamato sputters, “well, I didn’t know I was going to confess! It just happened!” He grumbles at the fact that _Gaku_ out of all people are judging him for his hasty confessions, but then again this is the first time he said anything the whole time he was recounting the story. He supposes it’s his way of respecting him, but he shouldn’t expect Yamato to return the favor.

He grabs his glass, and downs a good bit before putting it back on the counter. “Well, Yaotome. Your turn.”

Gaku pauses, his shoulders drooping as he forces himself to look away from his drink vacantly. A bit rasply, he continues, “I think the worst is being unable to spit it out.”

Yamato raises an eyebrow, his prior assumption being crumbled and proven wrong in one single answer. More than willing to take the topic off him, he leans forward in interest and shoots him a smirk. “Huh, there’s things _you_ can’t say to someone, TRIGGER’s leader?”

Rather than getting more of a reaction like he wanted, Gaku retaliated weakly, “Shut it, Nikaidou. Sometimes I just get so taken aback by him when we hang out, or I think that I rather not mess up the friendship that we have going on…”

His grin grows wider at how thorough Gaku is. Immediately, he thinks about how Mitsuki would always excitedly recount to him about his time spent hanging out with him. The answer slips out easily, “Mitsu, huh?”

Gaku’s eyes widen, albeit shocked.

 _Oh, come on_ , did he think they weren’t obvious? Yamato snorts, “You two always have hung out all the time… Mitsu’s glued to his phone because of you.”

That gets the biggest reaction from Gaku he’s seen all night, and he looks so lovelorn that Yamato swears he’s coming straight out of some sappy romance drama. He has that love-riddled sigh, and even looks away to take a drink. Ha. He really does have it bad.

They talk well into the night, both being sympathetic toward one another and making fun of each other for their backfired hubris.

* * *

Yamato groans as he stays in his bed, wearily taking out his phone to check the time. Noon. Well, good thing it’s his day off.

Days, almost weeks passed since he’s had that conversation with Gaku in the bar. Honestly, it doesn’t look like things improved for either of them, considering that they’re both so damn busy with work. While his love life didn’t seem to have any particular luck, his professional life did. The pilot went off with a hitch, and the drama’s been getting increasingly popular with each week’s episode.

Yamato’s role is particularly received pretty well, as the other members excitedly pointed out, and that gained IDOLiSH7 some more attention. Yamato’s been wrapped up in more interviews relating to the drama, and of course the other members earnestly promoted the drama.

However-- there hasn’t been word from Nagi at all on his part. And surely enough, things haven’t seemed to settle down enough to allow him home for the premiere. That’s what Yamato expected, and honestly, after what he did… Nagi must be dead set on avoiding him.

So Yamato dove himself into his work, and spent all his time with the script and immersing himself in this fictional world so he had no time to worry about his reality. He sighs, as he lazily reads his line off the script over and over again, becoming more and more displeased with the delivery. “Noburu, you must steel your heart! You can’t possibly have fallen in love with that kunoichi!” Yamato groans at how dumb he sounds saying that. Well, the line itself is probably dumb-- he just needs to deliver it more cooly. He sucks in a breath, and tries it again.

“Noburu, steel your heart,” he starts more gruffly, “you can’t possibly have fallen in love with that kunoichi. She is our enemy.”

Still not satisfied, he sighs and flings the script off his bed. That’s enough productivity for one day (and this is his rare off day, let him enjoy himself), and he thinks to maybe stop moping around and do something about the problem like try to call Nagi again. He reaches out for his phone, but he stops himself before he messes the situation up even more. Honestly, Gaku _clearly_ hasn’t made any progress either with Mitsu, since everything seems to be the same as usual.

Speaking of Mitsu…

The door slams open, revealing a very irritated and pissed off Mitsuki. Yamato raises an eyebrow, wondering if Gaku in fact has done something. He’s unfortunately, proven wrong quickly when Mitsuki takes out a weapon (a pillow from the living room) and slams it hard on Yamato. “Get up, old man!”

“What was that for?” Yamato calls back while wincing, “Onii-san can’t keep up with all this energy. Something happen?”

Mitsuki shoots a glare at him, “geez, how out of the loop are you? Nagi’s coming back this afternoon! And here you are, doing _nothing_.”

That’s the first time he ever heard about that. He raises an eyebrow, scrambling to sit up in his bed as he adjusts his glasses. “Since when?”

“Manager told us last week that he’s coming back!” He exclaims, sighing as he tosses his (dangerous) pillow aside and sits next to Yamato on the bed. “You’ve really been out of it lately, Yamato-san. It’s like you’re never here…”

Dryly, Yamato laughs, “did you just notice that?”

“No, I just thought it’d work itself out.” Mitsuki sighs, and then jabs Yamato sharply in the gut, “but knowing you, I should’ve intervened earlier. What’s up? Is that drama really that bad? You’ve gotten so much more popular because of it!”

“You’re just hitting me until you're satisfied, huh?” Yamato questions with a lopsided smile, “you sure you’re not the one having problems here?”

“Don’t change the subject, old man.” Mitsuki hisses, “this is about _you._  I still haven’t heard much from Nagi other than the occasional text.”

Yamato nods, “huh, is that so?”

“Don’t you have special leader privileges and get to talk to him?”

He glances away from Mitsuki, and sighs as he clutches his face and laughs. He keeps laughing, not out of joy or anything sadistic or pleasurable-- just sadly, and maybe ironically at his own idiocy.

Mitsuki snatches his wrist, jerking Yamato toward him and forcing him to stare him in the eye. “Yamato-san. We’re not doing this again.”

He finally breaks, unable to stand longer against Mitsuki’s determined eyes and persistence, and frowns. “... I messed up.”

“Huh?” Mitsuki blinks, but then he nods thoughtfully, “with Nagi, right. Did you two get in a fight?”

“No, I disgusted him.” Yamato continues, the words tumbling out as if Mitsuki had broken a dam. “I told him that I was in love with him. I overstepped my boundaries, Mitsu, that guy is the straightest person I know. Why did I even think that would be a remotely good idea? God, I can’t be satisfied with our relationship now, huh? I just _had_ to want more. I’m the worst, seriously…”

“You’re not,” Mitsuki starts softly, “you’re really putting Nagi in a bad light, huh? He’d straight up reject you if he hated you, Yamato-san. And…” He slaps Yamato’s back, “nothing wrong with wanting more than friendship. You can’t control it if it’s love!”

“Huh, did voicing in a kid’s anime get you that line?” Yamato jokes, attempting to lighten the mood at least a bit.

Mitsuki rolls his eyes, “I’m telling the truth, old man! But you just never called him again after that? Geez, you just have to talk it out with him. He probably was just shocked.”

Yamato looks down at the floor, and he swallows. “But…”

“It’ll be fine,” His friend reassures him again with a brighter smile this time, “just talk to him when you get back.”

It’s hard to face the truth. That’s why Yamato would rather run from it and pretend it doesn’t exist-- maybe he isn’t so different from his dad, who just brushes off everything problematic with his life and ignores it. How despicable. Mitsuki starts to look concerned for him again though, so Yamato turns away and answers quietly. “He doesn’t feel the same way, though.”

“You don’t know that.” Mitsuki bites back immediately, “you can’t just assume that!” Suddenly, his voice only gets higher and his words sound frantic and forced. He lets out a loud sob, and then he buries his face into Yamato’s back, pressing against it.

Yamato frowns, awkwardly patting his friend on the head, ignoring the fact that he’s getting his snot and tears all over his cardigan. He’s not sure why Mitsuki is crying, and it’d be touching to say at the least if it’s because of him. But he shouldn’t be wasting his tears on him. “Geez, Mitsu… you don’t have to cry for me. You were smiling just earlier. What happened to that?”

“Idiot,” Mitsuki manages between sobs, “who said I’m crying for you?” He sniffs again, pulling away from Yamato and then he tugs at his cardigan. “Sorry, I’ll wash that. It just kind of hit me.”

Yamato shrugs off his cardigan, leaving him only in a gray t-shirt, and hands it to Mitsuki. “What did?”

“I’m being a hypocrite,” Mitsuki breathes out deeply, calming himself from his crying. “It’s…”

“Yaotome?”

Mitsuki goes silent, but nods. So Gaku _did_ do something. Yamato hadn’t bothered actively looking at the news, but… “and?” So if he did anything to hurt Mitsu, he’s going to be in a world of hurt-- well, after he resolves his own emotions.

Mitsuki shakes his head, and launches himself off his bed. “I’ll tell you later. Nagi’s coming back, remember? Clean yourself up and see him with a smile.” He pokes Yamato squarely in the forehead, and then leaves as quickly as he came, but with Yamato’s cardigan in tow.

Yamato shakes his head fondly, and eventually he forces himself out of bed.

* * *

Soon after the celebration and exultations at Nagi’s safe return, Yamato slinks back into his room. He was planning to approach Nagi about _that_ , but seeing the smiles on everyone’s faces at Nagi’s return made him postpone those plans. He can’t ruin those kids’ days just because he sucks at interpersonal communication. Mitsuki shot him a nasty look when he spotted him sneaking out of the party, but didn’t say anything, thankfully.

He cracks open another can of beer, and as soon as he starts to drink, someone else enters the room. He looks up slowly, and his eyes widen as soon as he sees that it’s the person of the hour. “Nagi…”

Nagi smiles at his name being said, and walks up to Yamato and covers Yamato’s hand on the beer with his own. “Yamato, where’s my greeting?”

“W-Welcome back…” He stammers, rendered almost speechless with Nagi up close like this. He doesn’t know why it’s ten times worse now, but maybe he’s just having his gay awakening all over again. Nagi’s so beautiful, and his hand just _had_ to be so smooth.

“I’m home,” Nagi smiles (beautifully, gorgeously, effervescently, and the list goes on), but his face grows more stern as he asks him something completely expected and unexpected at the same time. “Did you maintain my Cocona collection?”

Yamato almost drops his beer, “you didn’t take it with you?”

“OH, Yamato… I put you in charge of upkeeping it.” Nagi frowns, “forgive me for not reminding you incessantly.”

Yamato shakes his head, “no… Onii-san wouldn’t have done it either way.”

That earns a pout from Nagi, but he seems to shake it off, opting to instead dramatically sprawl himself all over Yamato’s bed like a cat. “I said I planned to return, so I saw no reason to take my dear collection with me if I had you protecting them.”

“You really asked the wrong person for that,” Yamato sighs, “I’m sure Mitsu went in there once or twice to dust off. Sou, too. He tends to clean when he gets stressed-- knowing him, he’d be the most pressed over it.”

Nagi hums as if in deep thought, but glances over at Yamato who’s trying to avoid his gaze, and avoid their obvious issue.

“... you wanted to talk about _that_ , right?” Yamato reluctantly brings it up himself, deciding to honor Mitsuki’s advice. “I was drunk off my ass, so just forget about it. Aren’t I gross?” He asks with a self-deprecating laugh. “Honestly, I’m shocked you went out of your way to see me like this. I thought that you--”

Nagi sits up in Yamato’s bed, and beckons him to come closer with a finger. “Yamato, you misunderstand.”

Yamato, dumbly and against his own will, comes over-- hope blossoming in his gut as he thinks that somehow Nagi will admit that he actually felt the same and he only gave him the cold shoulder all this time to understand it. “Do I?” He whispers, all too tempted to get way too close for Nagi’s comfort, but restrains himself and stands at a respectable distance from him.

But Nagi grabs him by the hand, and tugs him closer, and eventually Yamato finds himself also collapsing on the bed next to Nagi. “I was not able to return in time for your drama’s premiere.”

“I know.” He mumbles into the sheets, turning over reluctantly to face Nagi.

“I watched each episode when I could,” Nagi continues with a small smile, “I like seeing you like that.”

Yamato stays silent, his main focus now fighting off the blush on his cheeks, and also for the reason that he thinks that Nagi shouldn’t be interrupted during something this important.

His hand slinks its way back to Yamato’s again, and he lifts it up slightly to his own lips.

“Hey, what the hell--” Yamato protests, “is that your answer!?”

Nagi simply kisses his hand again, before pulling away and shooting Yamato a wink, “yes. I do love it when you’re honest with me.”

 _Love?_ Yamato thinks furiously, his heart rate quickening at the thought, betraying all his attempts to stay calm. “So what’s all that--”

“I had to think about it myself, Yamato,” Nagi cuts him off, “so I realized I treasure you more than any princess that comes my way. I am sorry for taking so long.”

Yamato sighs, forcing himself to sit up in bed as well, and then scoots closer to Nagi. “So?”

“Video call is a horrible way to do a confession, Yamato,” he smiles, looking him straight in the eyes. “Let us try again. Yamato, mind saying that again?”

His cheeks turn even redder than before, but Yamato reluctantly complies, “Nagi, I’m in love with you. I still am, and _god_ , I am so glad you’re back. Here. With me.” He spits out the latter words with some difficulty, but he squeezes Nagi’s hand.

“And I love you too,” Nagi returns breathlessly, cradling Yamato’s face with his other hand. “Would you be by my side from now on, my prince--”

“Okay, none of that. Just kiss me already.”

Nagi chuckles, leaning in as he captures Yamato’s lips in a kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> if ur curious about gaku and mitsuki's side of the story then that will be.... another time... but as u can tell it's gaku self-cucking himself since that's how he does things
> 
> anyways, thank u so much for reading!!!! nagiyama is a rlly interesting ship and i, think it should not be slept on. thank u. 
> 
> ALSO. i love sobagoras. they're dumbasses. mitsuki has the braincell but sometimes he's dumb too
> 
> find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/shineonthesea).


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